OR THE BEAST?
By Pearle Harbour
Feminism has become
a worldwide phenomenon. United States, Canada, Great Britain, Australia,
Italy, Germany, and others, battle feminists’ agendas.
President of N.O.W.
has defined feminism as the radical belief women have rights. Webster
Dictionary (1969) defined feminism as simply "the doctrine
advocating extension of the activities of women in social and political
life." Webster Dictionary (1986) defines feminism as: "(1)
feminine qualities; (2) the principle that women should have political,
economic, and social rights equal to those of men; and (3) the movement
to win such rights for women."
defined as: "(1) having the qualities generally attributed to
woman, as weakness, timidity, delicacy, etc.: unmanly; not virile; (2)
characterized by such qualities: weak, soft, decadent, etc. SYN -
"feminism" get such a grip on societies around the world? One
has only to look at our own feminist movement started in the 60s; and
how definitions have changed in 17 years. Add gender biased laws passed
over the last 12 years rendering males helpless legally.
with "male bashing". Every male had to find his
"feminine" side. "Insensitive men" were given
politically correct labels which included chauvinist, deadbeat dads,
batterers, rapists, and sexual predators.
Media blitzes and
feminist literature beat up men who worked long hours. Men didn’t
spend enough time with their children, wives, or girlfriends. A
requirement of a good father was mandatory attendance at birthing
classes and birth of children. To insure future feminists goals, bonding
became important for feminists. "Bonding" and "quality
time" were new buzz words used by feminists.
fatherhood from a new perspective unknown to their predecessors. It
became apparent fathers did make great parents. In time, children would
become "pawns" and "tools" feminists would use to
control their man.
and sensitivity indoctrination persisted until almost every male trait
was eliminated. Men started to exhibit effeminate traits. Being
"male" was no longer socially acceptable.
While tearing down
male traits, women set out to "fight for equality".
"Being fulfilled" was the feminist slogan. Women took on male
roles and personality traits. Family/children became less important to
women. Nurturing and upbringing of children was left to day care
Men attempted to
conform to a politically correct definition of "male". It
became impossible for men to reach an ever changing feminist definition
of "male". "Gentlemen" was politically incorrect.
Male traits were unacceptable unless they were found in women.
Role reversal took
on a more public forum of subliminal indoctrination. Politically correct
buzz words made their appearance into tv, newspapers, and movies.
Extensive media coverage of batterers, rapists, stalkers, and
"deadbeat dads" made sure of public indoctrination.
Laws long overdue
were passed in the 60's to early 80's to protect women. By 1990s, these
laws had become a way to control men. Men became intimidated and fearful
of false allegations. False allegations rise 80% during a divorce.
70s/80s, feminists adopted the socialist ideology of "brute
presumption" in passing and enforcing laws. This socialist
philosophy intentionally did NOT consider all relevant facts; or
attempt a reasonable balanced decision as put forth in our Constitution.
One good example of
brute presumption is false allegations of child abuse and/or domestic
violence (Zero Tolerance Laws). Family court became a place to test how
far a woman could take brute presumption. Courts generally go on the
sole word of a woman. In most cases, no evidence is required to prove
false allegation. Consequently, innocent men are being convicted and
Family court is the
feminists best ally in their creation of a "fatherless
society". Family court is a ferocious battleground leaving carnage
all through its halls of justice. A perfected legal forum to control
fathers/children emotionally and financially. Men have been reduced to a
legally intimidated, frightened, and meek population. Men afraid of
gender biased laws enforced by a pro-female legal system.
You won’t hear on
any news about a Family Violence Survey showing almost as many men are
abused as women. Same survey shows only 16% of families in the U.S. do
experience violence, most which takes the form of slapping, shoving, and
grabbing by both parties during an argument. What TV network
would dare speak these "truths" and incur ultra-feminist
Fathers whisper in
secret about their fears of being falsely accused and imprisoned. Their
lives ruined by pointing of fingers and untruths spoken. Does this sound
vaguely familiar - one wrong word and you go to concentration camp?
Feminists command a
powerful political base. Their goal is to create a "village without
fathers". Lobbying is fierce to pass even more gender biased laws.
N.O.W.’s Campaign 2000 slogan is to elect more "real"
feminists. Politicians are painfully aware of feminist political power.
A major victory for
feminists is Violence Against Womens Act (VAWA) written for women.
Includes no protection for men. EXAMPLE: In many states, a simple
yelling match between husband and wife will get the husband thrown in
jail, NOT the wife. Police must arrest even if there is no
evidence of violence. Feminists certainly have come a long way, baby!
unwilling to admit men have been reduced to bank accounts, sperm banks,
doormats, and innocent criminals.
How are children
faring in a "feminist utopia" - (fatherless home)? Bureau of
Census reports 63% of child suicides are from fatherless homes. Center
for Disease Control reports 85% of all children who exhibit behavioral
disorders come from fatherless homes. National Principals Association
Report on The State of High Schools states 71% of all high school
dropouts come from fatherless homes.
Nope! You won’t
see much media coverage on mothers abusing and killing their children.
We MUST believe "mothers make the best parent". Recent
studies show women commit 65% of child abuse. No media coverage on
"truths" - not feminist approved!
example of socialistic brute presumption. Child Support Enforcement laws
allows for no adjustments in payments for "unintentional loss of
income/employment"due to unusual circumstances. No evidence is
considered in most cases. Fathers are made into felons. No hearing, no
trial, no evidence. Remind you of anything?
dads" is one of the most successful of all buzz words ever
created by feminists. It sticks in everyone’s mind. Labeled as such,
fathers are treated as criminals even if they pay their child support.
Feminized media is unrelenting in reporting inaccurate and false
Innocent fathers are
put in Maximum Security, shackled, cuffed and strip searched for
"supposed" non-payment of child support/arrearage. Many
calculations of child support and arrearage have been artificially
created by our feminized courts. Child support payments are arbitrarily
increased without proof of "real" income. Increased amounts
are backdated. If a father can’t pay instantly, he goes to
jail. Time in jail means more arrearage.
In many cases,
mothers make more money than fathers making child support a second
income to mothers. Another feminist accomplishment.
40% of mothers
admitted to interfering with visitation to punish fathers, according
to a recent study by American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. Non-custodial
parents must go to court repeatedly to "beg, buy, and sign away
their souls" in court to have any glimmer of hope of visiting their
children. Feminized fathers now controlled by their love for their
children. Still NO laws exist to punish "intentional
denial of visitation".
Who really cares
about our children who cry and beg to see their daddies. Children who
are put into mental institutions, brutalized, tortured, and sometimes
murdered. Children forced to talk to psychiatrists/psychologists who
work to help mothers create false memory syndromes.
End results of
"best interests of our children" - brainwashed children
who hate their fathers. Children forced to tell lies of abuse.
Brainwashed children whose mothers constantly and daily re-enforce these
false memories at home. I thought only P.O.W.s were subjected to
brainwashing tactics! Children forced to rewrite their past eliminating
a father they once loved. Manipulated and brainwashed by professionals
and mothers children are forced to recall false memories solely
for mothers to win in court. Maintain
status quo at all cost of lives - mommy dearest is always the best
accomplishment. Elimination of male related reference words, such as
"he", from vocabularies. Check verbiage in a pension plan,
insurance brochure, or other writings for number of times writings
include "he", or any male reference. Commercials today rarely
include a "father". How many female reporters versus male
reporters are reporting the news?
ultra-feminists! Our sexual harassment laws. I’m certainly glad I’m
not a man. A man cannot look at, speak to, or god forbid inadvertently
brush against her arm. Now every man must treat women as Chinese royalty
- eyes must look down at floor, not gaze upon royalty, and wait for an
audience to be granted. Completion of males exhibiting effeminate
qualities of weakness and timidity.
Physical and verbal
bullying by girls in school has increased to epidemic proportions. A new
generation of truly radical feminists are being indoctrinated.
Feminization of our schools has created a new gender gap. Boys are
falling behind in school. Girls are making steady gains. Educators fail
to recognize, nor care about problems boys are having in school.
Children are suppose
to be our greatest assets. They are constantly used by feminists,
politicians, and attorneys, whenever they need to pass a piece of
legislation, win an election, raise money, or increase their bank
accounts. When will we really do what is "best for our children"??
Is this what
feminism is all about? Is this what women of the 60s wanted their
feminist movement to accomplish?? I think not!! We wanted equality. Not
total emasculation of males and destruction of our children.
Harbour’s 20th Century Definition of Feminism - (1)
all parents shall be females; (2) the movement to create a fatherless
society, devoid of all male references of any kind; (3) women shall be
the only gender to enjoy the right of voting.
Big Brother, Gestapo, Socialism, Communism
now live in an ultra-feminist society devoid of morality, democracy,
justice, and honesty. Is this our new bridge to the 21st
Century? Is this the "village" we want?
will men be men again?
will Fatherhood be restored?
will courts give our children back both parents?
will men speak up and stop "whispering" - huddled and
frightened - behind
doors ?"SAVE OUR CHILDREN - EDUCATE OUR JUDGES - FIGHT THE FIGHT
THAT NEEDS FIGHTING" Pearle
by Pearle Harbour
11/2/98 - Not to be reprinted without permission of the author
of Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare
BIAS IN OUR FAMILY COURT SYSTEM
of Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare
legal pendulum swings to yet another extreme. Gender bias runs rampant
in our family court system. In the 60's women, fought hard to get laws
passed to protect women against domestic violence. Painfully it took
years for our legal system to recognize women as victims of domestic
laws were passed and enforced to protect "true victims".
Stalking/sexual harassment laws were later passed and enforced. Many
women lived through domestic violence; many died. Some went to jail for
homicide; some later pardoned. We, as women, finally got society to
recognize violence against women.
on all those women of the 90's who now used these laws to their
advantage in family courts to bring men to their knees; and to erase
fathers from the lives of their children! False allegations by women of
child abuse, domestic violence, and stalking are almost never questioned
by judges for fear of being politically incorrect.
who feel justified in punishing men, use these false charges
indiscriminately. Children are forgotten and have become our newest
victims with full cooperation from our Family Court system. Children
need fathers too. A recent US Department of Education study,
"Fathers Involved in Their Childrens' Education" (free for a
phone call - 1-800-424-1616, option 3) will bear out these truths.
have become educated in the ways of our legal system. A new study
purports women are filing 70% of divorces today. We all know "FIRST
PERSON TO FILE usually "WINS". An unfortunate person against
whom false allegations are charged must prove their innocence while a
plaintiff proves nothing.
paralegal and woman, I am no longer proud of our female gender and their
abuse of our legal system.
innocent father involved in a nasty contested divorce, with a woman who
vows vengeance, is helpless in Family Court. Important child support
laws enacted are now strictly, and sometimes unfairly enforced. There
are stories of fathers who lost their jobs from downsizing and/or
circumstances beyond their control. When the mother of his children
insists on back child support, he is thrown into jail. Child support is
based on his "earning ability". Debtor's prison has become our
most recent politically correct terminology to control men. Here again,
our Family Courts condone whatever women allege, accuse, and dictate to
a husband make the mistake of remarrying, further angering his ex-wife,
a second wife's income is used as "a way to show ability to
pay". The mother of their children, on the other hand, can marry
another man. The "other man's" income is never used to lower
child support.. Court's rationale - "they are not his children, not
his responsibility". Since when did a mother bear no responsibility
for their children? Today's women are earning more, and are becoming a
majority in our workforce. Stay at home mom of the 50's rarely exists
today. I knew of a man who ended up paying so much child support (plus
child expenses) he had to move back home with his parents. His wife
earned more than he did.
allegations of child abuse by a vengeful ex-wife devastates not only
children, but fathers. Why does a father automatically become a
"bad father" when a divorce is filed? Primarily because an
ex-wife decides he MUST pay for wanting a divorce. Wife files first to
take advantage of all laws passed to protect "true victims" of
abuse/violence. Wife charges everything from domestic violence to
stalking to child abuse. Courts almost always believe a woman over a man
know of a man who was falsely accused of child sexual abuse. By the time
he was found innocent, he lost his job, his reputation, and everything
he owned. Recent statistics do show women are becoming our primary child
abusers, and yes, even killers of our children. Our Family Courts
consistently state, "the mother always makes the best parent".
mothers today emotionally blackmail and intimidate their children into
fabricating abuse by their father. I know a man who fought two years to
get custody of his son from a proven mentally ill mother who abused
their son. Each time the court insisted "the mother is the best
large number of children are FORCED to see a child psychologist when
divorce is filed. Counselors/psychologists are encouraged by our system
to give bad reports against a father. Fathers are automatically presumed
capable of abuse before any mother.
are intentionally denying visitation to loving, child support paying
fathers, who then spend money and time in court trying to get visitation
enforced. I know a man who hasn't seen his son in 14 years, but
religiously pays his child support. He stopped pursuing visitation in
court when the mother threatened harm to the son. Is this fair? Why is
there no press on "intentional denial of visitation"??
of the saddest true stories I know of is a little nine year old boy was
put in a mental institution by his mother until he stopped saying, I
want to see my daddy. There are too many stories of children committing
suicide. I personally know of a woman who kept her teenage son up night
after night crying about her divorce, repeatedly telling him
"children ruin marriages". Son turned to drinking, drugs,
dropped out of college.
is reality. It is currently a billion dollar a year business. Contested
divorce is Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare whether people want to
acknowledge it or not. Everyone wants a fuzzy warm answer to harsh
reality. There are none unless we all recognize male gender bias
perpetuated in Family Court today, and the undeniable damage it does to
ago women had a disadvantage in our domestic courts. Now they can feel
quite happy knowing most women win today; can manipulate child support
into "backdoor alimony"; deprive their children of their
fathers; and ruin their husband. Truth no longer exists in our legal
we have come a long way. Should women be proud of how they use laws
fought hard for 30+ years ago to protect us. I am personally grateful
for these laws. You blasphemy those women who died for the very laws you
are abusing today. Stop abusing them - - for one day our legal pendulum
will swing back and our true victims will not be believed again.
think you're beating men? You're beating yourself; destroying your
children; and making our legal system rich. You are creating a
generation of children who think love is conditional, possessive; and if
lost, violence and manipulating laws will make you a winner.
will never be associated with any feminist movement/person(s) who
advocates false allegations, destroying children, and eliminating good
proud women of the 90's . You have successfully accomplished
in Family Courts".
are our innocent victims of gender bias in our family courts. Not women.
we debate what has happened to our children and how to fix it, why do we
not discuss our families? As we discuss what to do about fathers' rights
and children's rights, why do we not discuss memories lost forever in a
maze of endless court battles and rewritten history? Why do we not see
future tears and sadness of those who will have no photographs to pass
down to the next generation?
Photos that were
never taken at those birthday parties. Photos never taken at
graduations. Photos never taken at weddings, births, and family
reunions. When our children one day ask about their family tree, will it
be without photographs and names of the non-custodial side of their
family. Family members who were callously eliminated from their
children's lives by a custodial parent and an uncaring legal system?
Picture this - One
day your child says to you "where is our family album. I have to do
a family tree for a school project." Or, one day, your child simply
asks to see pictures of their relatives. You take out your family album,
and your child begins to turn each page. A look of confusion covers
their face and their eyes look sad. "Where is my daddy (or mommy)?
Where is Grandpa and Grandma Jones? I see Grandpa and Grandma Smith, but
where are the pictures of the rest of my family? Do I look like my daddy
(or mommy)?" your child questions. What do you answer to a child
who waits for an honest answer from a parent they trust and love?
When I open my
family album, I can revisit my past. I can see where I came from, and
there is no doubt who I look like. I can look at my father and remember
a strong, hard working, loving father. A father who taught me values,
morals, and to fight for what I believed in even if people throw stones.
I can't imagine not having pictures of my father in my family album.
Some day I will lose my best friend, my father. To never be able to see
his face again, if only in a picture, would be tragic.
In my family album,
I can see the mother who gave birth to me and made sacrifices for me. A
mother who knew and understood that her daughter didn't always listen to
her advice. I can see a strong person who I'm sure I caused pain from
time to time as I grew into an adult. Never once did my mother abandon
me when I made mistakes in life. Every day in this harsh world of ours,
I thank my mother for teaching me how to be a lady, a woman, and an
We cannot bring back
the past, nor re-create special and important events in our children's'
lives. Once a graduation has taken place and a father (or mother) wasn't
there to have their picture taken with the graduate, we cannot recapture
nor conjure up these lost images. How sad they will one day wonder why
there are no photographs of the "other" parent or
"other" relatives whenever there was a special occasion in
When I open my
family album, I can see very special grandparents I dearly miss today.
Grandparents who loved me for myself and expected nothing in return but
love. They were there when I needed support, another shoulder to cry on,
or another perspective on life. My grandparents passed on to me in story
and pictures my family history and family legacy. They enabled me to
keep my family history alive in my heart, in my memory, and in pictures.
Who could forget my
great-grandfather and our trips to the old soda shop in town. While I
sipped on my soda, I watched other grandfathers playing checkers and
talking about the good ole days. So many memories time cannot erase. My
great-grandfather told me all about my great-grandmother whom I never
got to meet. Whenever he talked of her and touched her photograph, his
face would light up and his eyes would tear up as he spoke her name even
twenty years after her death.
Too many children
are left with empty photo albums before they were given a choice. Before
they were given a chance to know the other parent and other relatives.
No one asked these children if one day they would like to see
photographs of their "other" parent and "other"
family. No one thought these children would care.
When I open my
family album, Auntie Lou is there in her too bright clothes and big
smile. Auntie Lou was such an individualist. I always admired her free
spirit and guts to be herself. Then there is Uncle Joe who was a little
short and fat, but he could cook better than most women. Together they
were the talk of the town and sometimes, it was rather cruel gossip.
They lived life to the fullest with an undying love for each other. No
matter small minded people, Auntie Lou would say. As long as you know
the truth, that's all that matters.
Our family, BOTH
sides, shape who we are and fill our lives with valuable memories. We
steal from these children irretrievable moments they could have enjoyed
in their lives.
In my family album,
Uncle Frank, is always throwing horseshoes. We all thought he'd quit one
day. Uncle Frank wasn't very good, but we didn't tell him that - he
enjoyed the game too much. Uncle Frank loved children and he loved
horseshoes. Oh, and he loved his wife, my Aunt Laurie. She always told
him with a big smile and lots of love in her eyes "it was the wind
honey. Keep practicing." I always thought it was sad they could
never have any children of their own. How lucky their foster children
were and what memories captured in photographs they made together.
When I open my
family album, tears fill my eyes when I touch a picture of my brother,
John, my best friend, who died too young. John taught me true sibling
love. Without his short time on earth, I may never have known how
wonderful it was to have a brother who didn't see my faults - only his
big sister. When I touch his photo, I know John still watches over his
big sister from Heaven.
Sadness fills my
heart for those children who will never know their "other"
grandparents and "other" relatives because death took them
away before they could know the truth. Before a child could decide what
their best interests were for themselves.
My family album has
lots of good memories and memories which bring tears to my eyes. But,
they are my times and my memories forever frozen in photographs.
Photographs I can take out and look at whenever I chose. If my memories
become faded or foggy with time and age, I can open up my family album
and smile again while I remember. I can be sad at the loss of family
members because they meant so much to me. I can touch their photos and
thank God they were in my life because they are a part of who I am
today. Any sadness turns to a loving memory of what I had in my life.
Memories no one can take from me. Memories I can pass onto my own
children. I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!
Do you want to be
the one who has to explain why there are no pictures of the
"other" parent? Do you want to explain why there are no
pictures of "other relatives"? Who has the right to steal any
child's heritage and family album from them? What of all those special
moments? Precious memories never captured on film with the
"other" parent and "other" relatives. Never mind.
You have those precious memories of you and your side of the family with
your children. It can't be that important to a child, can it? What do
they know. They are only children.
All I see and read
in our media anymore is how the custodial parent, predominantly mothers,
feel the pain when on those rare occasions they lose custody of their
children. Perhaps if more mothers felt the pain an empty photo album
causes their children, they would understand what they are doing to
their own children. Was it fair to take their memories away from them?
Oh, I forgot - you did what was best for your children.
controlling come to mind. Not love nor best interests of our children,
when I think of all these innocent children who will never see if they
looked like their daddy (or mommy). Nor will they ever know the memories
of those of us who have a family album. How will these children retrace
their family history one day?
Do judges, lawyers,
counselors, or anyone in our legal system, understand what their
decisions are doing to our children and non-custodial parents? Do they
all have a family album? Can they fathom future memories they are
stealing from our children and non-custodial parents?
Those who are
deciding the best interests of our children have forgotten and do not
care whether there will be photos for our children. They don't even care
whether these children will have unanswered questions they take to their
graves themselves one day.
Do we really
understand the consequences and repercussions of things we do today in
the name of the best interests of our children? How many empty photo
albums will there be in the 21st century?
of Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare
Bias In Our Family Court System
R.E.A.L. Parents USA
to be reprinted without permission of author
CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM
Pearle Harbour would like to wish everyone the happiest of holiday
During this period of holiday celebrations and approaching new
everyone has lots to be thankful for, and many wishes for the new year.
One wish would be for everyone in this country to be truly happy with
relationships with their families.. Sadly, too many have no family
gather around them during the holiday season.
Our servicemen/women who valiantly protect our country will be alone at
Wouldn't it be wonderful if for just one holiday season they could all
return to celebrate family, joy, happiness, and traditions in familiar
surroundings back home in our United States?
These are wishes we can only hope and pray will one day come true.
Our FORGOTTEN AMERICANS also include also non-custodial parents and
grandparents who will not enjoy the smiles and laughter of their
children/grandchildren during the holiday season.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if for just one holiday season all the adults
this country could grow up and stop being selfish, vindictive, and show
unconditional love to their children?
This too is a wish we can only hope and pray for under our current legal
system of unequal justice.
Combined with our current society built on the "ME" theory of
self-absorption, greed, no religion, and total lack of real concern for
lost children, we are destined to forever lose our traditions at holiday
For my column this month, I will leave you with a true story told to me
Perhaps some of you will take it to heart and read its real meaning.
often today we only view things for their entertainment value and not
messages. Messages which must be heeded to save our children,
our great country.
My friend is divorced with a small child age 3. Children are so
at holiday times. Their world is filled with wonderment and
Thanksgiving to Christmas. Anticipation builds in their hearts and
waiting for Christmas Day. If they are lucky children, they will
the holiday really means and why it is suppose to be celebrated.
Not just for the gifts and money of a never-ending materialistic ME
I'll call the little girl Jessica to protect her identity. My
be named Mary.
Jessica loved Christmas. There were so many activities going on in
in church and with her family.
Jessica loved to decorate at Christmas and couldn't wait for Santa to
like any other normal child. She spent many agonizing days trying
on the perfect gift for everyone on her list because "I want them
happy because I love them."
Jessica had dragged her mother to store after store until each gift was
carefully selected with love. Together they spent nights spent wrapping
one especially for the person for whom it was purchased. "I'm
Martha will love this scarf. She told me she needed a new one to
warm." Nothing was too extravagant and some gifts were
Next came the decorating of their home. "Mommy," Jessica
would asked with
concern in her voice. "Do you think we have enough
"Yes," Mary would smile and yawn. "It will be
perfect when we are
finished. You always do a great job."
Each evening, Mary would kiss Jessica goodnight. "Mommy, why
are you smiling?"
"Because I love you so much sweetheart."
"I like Christmas best of all."
"I know. Now you must get some sleep. Tomorrow is
Christmas Eve and we
have so much to do and so many people to see."
"I know mommy," Jessica's kissed her mother. "So
much to do and so many
people to see."
Mary tucked Jessica in as her tiny daughter dropped off to sleep and
dreamed of Christmas.
Yes, the days were long and the hours stretched long into the night as
prepared for the holidays. There was Christmas services to attend
family to see. Her schedule was full and she hoped the weather was
her and Jessica could see everyone on their list.
Mary was exhausted by the time Christmas Eve arrived. As
woke up very early and tugged at her mother who thought silently to
just a few more minutes. But, Jessica would not be denied.
Mary and Jessica filled the car with presents they had bought and
they had made together. First the church services, and then the
Jessica's energy never wavered as they traveled first to see
There were lots of cousins, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles
As Jessica handed out each present, she smiled at their reaction.
heart was filled with love and happiness. There were lots of
Jessica too. Not once did she say an unkind word to anyone who
gave her a
present though she may not have liked each one. Jessica knew they
as much love into their presents to her as she did. For Jessica,
okay if they didn't get it exactly right.
By nighttime, Mary was exhausted and Jessica was still too excited to
sleep. There was one last important stop they had to make before
arrived at Jessica's house. "Are you sure Daddy will be
there? It's kind
of late mommy."
"Daddy will be there. Don't worry," Mary reassured her
As they pulled into his driveway, Jessica screamed, "you're right
Daddy is here. He didn't forget."
Mary waited in the car as Jessica delivered her present to her Daddy.
was difficult for Mary to forget the bad times and their terrible
It was better this way for Jessica. Mary knew in her heart it
better between the two of them over time. Mary hoped one day they
civil to each other.
Besides, Jessica had been a special gift from their marriage, and her
happiness was the most important thing to Mary. "The rest
will work itself
out if we try for Jessica's sake," Mary whispered to herself alone
in the car.
Sometimes it was tough to forget her problems with her ex-husband.
knew she was doing the right thing every time Jessica came running out
her daddy's house smiling and laughing, and chatting all the way home
her visit with her daddy. For Mary, Jessica's happiness was more
to her than her anger over their divorce.
Mary yawned and smiled to herself as she thought about how much energy
little girl could have and how tired an adult she was tonite.
was worth it to Mary to see her daughter so happy and loved by so many
"Mommy," Jessica yelled as she ran to the car with Daddy in
said he wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas."
Mary and John exchanged pleasantries for Jessica's sake and even managed
smile at the exuberance of their daughter. Yes, Mary thought to
We can do this for Jessica.
John kissed his daughter goodnight. "See you tomorrow Daddy.
leave out my cookies and your milk for Santa. I love you
"I won't forget my little angel," John waved goodbye.
"I love you too
Jessica chattered all the way home. "Oh look mommy, aren't
our lights pretty?"
"Yes sweetie. Now you need to get to sleep," her mother
told her. "Or
Santa won't come. And yes, he will like the cookies you made for
On Christmas day by noon, Jessica was with her father. Jessica
whirlwind day of visiting grandparents and other relatives. John
able to see his daughter smile and laugh as they traveled to each
home. For John, Jessica's happiness was more important than
in the world to him. These visits were never long enough, but John
grateful Mary gave him so much time with his daughter. Their
been bitter. Jessica was his only shining light throughout all the
battles. John hoped one day all their bitterness would be gone for
Jessica's sake. His time with her was precious, and he never
moment with Jessica.
It was very late when John knocked on Mary's door with a sleeping
in his arms.
"I think she'll sleep til noon," John spoke as Mary opened the
"Why don't you put her in her bed," Mary told him.
Together they tucked Jessica into bed and stood for a moment to watch
They didn't speak because words weren't necessary.
John left and Mary shut the door. Both wished it could have been
different, but sometimes divorce happens. Watching Jessica grow up
and happy by two parents and their families would heal both their
pasts. Together they would share in their daughter's life,
dreams, and future.
Jessica slept in the day after Christmas. Jessica didn't wake her
because "she needs her sleep."
When Mary awoke, she came out to see Jessica going through her presents.
"Mommy, I'm a very lucky little girl," Jessica looked very
"Because of all the presents you received on Christmas?" Mary
"Oh no, mommy. I'm a very lucky little girl because so many
me. I got to see daddy and all my grandparents on Christmas.
than any presents I could ever get."
And a CHILD shall lead them..............
Our families are in trouble and our children are lost. I may not
most religious person, but I do believe in God, good and evil, family,
children, and our great country.
For this holiday season, I will end my column and story simply with.....
***This is the season to remember that child who was born 2000 years ago
and loves you still today.****
May you have the happiest of holidays and your wishes come true in the
Not to be reprinted without permission of author.