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Realize - Equality - Actively - with Love
We are CUPID'S ACTIVISTS fighting to give our children back their childhood
and restore our Country's values.

 

FEMINISM

BEAUTY OR THE BEAST?
By Pearle Harbour

 

Feminism has become a worldwide phenomenon. United States, Canada, Great Britain, Australia, Italy, Germany, and others, battle feministsí agendas.

President of N.O.W. has defined feminism as the radical belief women have rights. Webster Dictionary (1969) defined feminism as simply "the doctrine advocating extension of the activities of women in social and political life." Webster Dictionary (1986) defines feminism as: "(1) feminine qualities; (2) the principle that women should have political, economic, and social rights equal to those of men; and (3) the movement to win such rights for women."

Effeminate is defined as: "(1) having the qualities generally attributed to woman, as weakness, timidity, delicacy, etc.: unmanly; not virile; (2) characterized by such qualities: weak, soft, decadent, etc. SYN - female.

How did "feminism" get such a grip on societies around the world? One has only to look at our own feminist movement started in the 60s; and how definitions have changed in 17 years. Add gender biased laws passed over the last 12 years rendering males helpless legally.

Propaganda began with "male bashing". Every male had to find his "feminine" side. "Insensitive men" were given politically correct labels which included chauvinist, deadbeat dads, batterers, rapists, and sexual predators.

Media blitzes and feminist literature beat up men who worked long hours. Men didnít spend enough time with their children, wives, or girlfriends. A requirement of a good father was mandatory attendance at birthing classes and birth of children. To insure future feminists goals, bonding became important for feminists. "Bonding" and "quality time" were new buzz words used by feminists.

Fathers experienced fatherhood from a new perspective unknown to their predecessors. It became apparent fathers did make great parents. In time, children would become "pawns" and "tools" feminists would use to control their man.

Criticism, control, and sensitivity indoctrination persisted until almost every male trait was eliminated. Men started to exhibit effeminate traits. Being "male" was no longer socially acceptable.

While tearing down male traits, women set out to "fight for equality". "Being fulfilled" was the feminist slogan. Women took on male roles and personality traits. Family/children became less important to women. Nurturing and upbringing of children was left to day care centers.

Men attempted to conform to a politically correct definition of "male". It became impossible for men to reach an ever changing feminist definition of "male". "Gentlemen" was politically incorrect. Male traits were unacceptable unless they were found in women.

Role reversal took on a more public forum of subliminal indoctrination. Politically correct buzz words made their appearance into tv, newspapers, and movies. Extensive media coverage of batterers, rapists, stalkers, and "deadbeat dads" made sure of public indoctrination.

Laws long overdue were passed in the 60's to early 80's to protect women. By 1990s, these laws had become a way to control men. Men became intimidated and fearful of false allegations. False allegations rise 80% during a divorce.

Somewhere in 70s/80s, feminists adopted the socialist ideology of "brute presumption" in passing and enforcing laws. This socialist philosophy intentionally did NOT consider all relevant facts; or attempt a reasonable balanced decision as put forth in our Constitution.

One good example of brute presumption is false allegations of child abuse and/or domestic violence (Zero Tolerance Laws). Family court became a place to test how far a woman could take brute presumption. Courts generally go on the sole word of a woman. In most cases, no evidence is required to prove false allegation. Consequently, innocent men are being convicted and incarcerated.

Family court is the feminists best ally in their creation of a "fatherless society". Family court is a ferocious battleground leaving carnage all through its halls of justice. A perfected legal forum to control fathers/children emotionally and financially. Men have been reduced to a legally intimidated, frightened, and meek population. Men afraid of gender biased laws enforced by a pro-female legal system.

You wonít hear on any news about a Family Violence Survey showing almost as many men are abused as women. Same survey shows only 16% of families in the U.S. do experience violence, most which takes the form of slapping, shoving, and grabbing by both parties during an argument. What TV network would dare speak these "truths" and incur ultra-feminist wrath?

Fathers whisper in secret about their fears of being falsely accused and imprisoned. Their lives ruined by pointing of fingers and untruths spoken. Does this sound vaguely familiar - one wrong word and you go to concentration camp?

Feminists command a powerful political base. Their goal is to create a "village without fathers". Lobbying is fierce to pass even more gender biased laws. N.O.W.ís  Campaign 2000 slogan is to elect more "real" feminists. Politicians are painfully aware of feminist political power.

A major victory for feminists is Violence Against Womens Act (VAWA) written for women. Includes no protection for men. EXAMPLE: In many states, a simple yelling match between husband and wife will get the husband thrown in jail, NOT the wife. Police must arrest even if there is no evidence of violence. Feminists certainly have come a long way, baby!

Society seems unwilling to admit men have been reduced to bank accounts, sperm banks, doormats, and innocent criminals.

How are children faring in a "feminist utopia" - (fatherless home)? Bureau of Census reports 63% of child suicides are from fatherless homes. Center for Disease Control reports 85% of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. National Principals Association Report on The State of High Schools states 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.

Nope! You wonít see much media coverage on mothers abusing and killing their children. We MUST believe "mothers make the best parent". Recent studies show women commit 65% of child abuse. No media coverage on "truths" - not feminist approved!

Hereís another example of socialistic brute presumption. Child Support Enforcement laws allows for no adjustments in payments for "unintentional loss of income/employment"due to unusual circumstances. No evidence is considered in most cases. Fathers are made into felons. No hearing, no trial, no evidence. Remind you of anything?

"Deadbeat dads" is one of the most successful of all buzz words ever created by feminists. It sticks in everyoneís mind. Labeled as such, fathers are treated as criminals even if they pay their child support. Feminized media is unrelenting in reporting inaccurate and false statistics.

Innocent fathers are put in Maximum Security, shackled, cuffed and strip searched for "supposed" non-payment of child support/arrearage. Many calculations of child support and arrearage have been artificially created by our feminized courts. Child support payments are arbitrarily increased without proof of "real" income. Increased amounts are backdated. If a father canít pay instantly, he goes to jail. Time in jail means more arrearage.

In many cases, mothers make more money than fathers making child support a second income to mothers. Another feminist accomplishment.

40% of mothers admitted to interfering with visitation to punish fathers, according to a recent study by American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. Non-custodial parents must go to court repeatedly to "beg, buy, and sign away their souls" in court to have any glimmer of hope of visiting their children. Feminized fathers now controlled by their love for their children. Still NO laws exist to punish "intentional denial of visitation".

Who really cares about our children who cry and beg to see their daddies. Children who are put into mental institutions, brutalized, tortured, and sometimes murdered. Children forced to talk to psychiatrists/psychologists who work to help mothers create false memory syndromes.

End results of "best interests of our children" - brainwashed children who hate their fathers. Children forced to tell lies of abuse. Brainwashed children whose mothers constantly and daily re-enforce these false memories at home. I thought only P.O.W.s were subjected to brainwashing tactics! Children forced to rewrite their past eliminating a father they once loved. Manipulated and brainwashed by professionals and mothers children are forced to recall false memories solely for mothers to win in court. Maintain status quo at all cost of lives - mommy dearest is always the best parent.

Another feminist accomplishment. Elimination of male related reference words, such as "he", from vocabularies. Check verbiage in a pension plan, insurance brochure, or other writings for number of times writings include "he", or any male reference. Commercials today rarely include a "father". How many female reporters versus male reporters are reporting the news?

Nice accomplishment ultra-feminists! Our sexual harassment laws. Iím certainly glad Iím not a man. A man cannot look at, speak to, or god forbid inadvertently brush against her arm. Now every man must treat women as Chinese royalty - eyes must look down at floor, not gaze upon royalty, and wait for an audience to be granted. Completion of males exhibiting effeminate qualities of weakness and timidity.

Physical and verbal bullying by girls in school has increased to epidemic proportions. A new generation of truly radical feminists are being indoctrinated. Feminization of our schools has created a new gender gap. Boys are falling behind in school. Girls are making steady gains. Educators fail to recognize, nor care about problems boys are having in school.

Children are suppose to be our greatest assets. They are constantly used by feminists, politicians, and attorneys, whenever they need to pass a piece of legislation, win an election, raise money, or increase their bank accounts. When will we really do what is "best for our children"??

Is this what feminism is all about? Is this what women of the 60s wanted their feminist movement to accomplish?? I think not!! We wanted equality. Not total emasculation of males and destruction of our children.

 

Pearle  Harbourís 20th Century Definition of Feminism - (1) all parents shall be females; (2) the movement to create a fatherless society, devoid of all male references of any kind; (3) women shall be the only gender to enjoy the right of voting.

SYN: Big Brother, Gestapo, Socialism, Communism

 

We now live in an ultra-feminist society devoid of morality, democracy, justice, and honesty. Is this our new bridge to the 21st Century? Is this the "village" we want?

Pearle Harbour wonders:

When will men be men again?

When will Fatherhood be restored?

When will courts give our children back both parents?

When will men speak up and stop "whispering" - huddled and frightened - behind

closed doors ?"SAVE OUR CHILDREN - EDUCATE OUR JUDGES - FIGHT THE FIGHT THAT NEEDS FIGHTING" Pearle Harbour

 

Written by Pearle Harbour

_____________________________________________________________________________

©Copyright 11/2/98 - Not to be reprinted without permission of the author

Pearle Harbour

Author of Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare

http:// www.freeyellow.com/members2/heller2

email -  wewinluv@jax-inter.net

 

GENDER BIAS IN OUR FAMILY COURT SYSTEM

by Pearle Harbour

Author of Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare

Our legal pendulum swings to yet another extreme. Gender bias runs rampant in our family court system. In the 60's women, fought hard to get laws passed to protect women against domestic violence. Painfully it took years for our legal system to recognize women as victims of domestic violence.

Domestic laws were passed and enforced to protect "true victims". Stalking/sexual harassment laws were later passed and enforced. Many women lived through domestic violence; many died. Some went to jail for homicide; some later pardoned. We, as women, finally got society to recognize violence against women.

Shame on all those women of the 90's who now used these laws to their advantage in family courts to bring men to their knees; and to erase fathers from the lives of their children! False allegations by women of child abuse, domestic violence, and stalking are almost never questioned by judges for fear of being politically incorrect.

Women who feel justified in punishing men, use these false charges indiscriminately. Children are forgotten and have become our newest victims with full cooperation from our Family Court system. Children need fathers too. A recent US Department of Education study, "Fathers Involved in Their Childrens' Education" (free for a phone call - 1-800-424-1616, option 3) will bear out these truths.

Women have become educated in the ways of our legal system. A new study purports women are filing 70% of divorces today. We all know "FIRST PERSON TO FILE usually "WINS". An unfortunate person against whom false allegations are charged must prove their innocence while a plaintiff proves nothing.

As a paralegal and woman, I am no longer proud of our female gender and their abuse of our legal system.

An innocent father involved in a nasty contested divorce, with a woman who vows vengeance, is helpless in Family Court. Important child support laws enacted are now strictly, and sometimes unfairly enforced. There are stories of fathers who lost their jobs from downsizing and/or circumstances beyond their control. When the mother of his children insists on back child support, he is thrown into jail. Child support is based on his "earning ability". Debtor's prison has become our most recent politically correct terminology to control men. Here again, our Family Courts condone whatever women allege, accuse, and dictate to control men.

Should a husband make the mistake of remarrying, further angering his ex-wife, a second wife's income is used as "a way to show ability to pay". The mother of their children, on the other hand, can marry another man. The "other man's" income is never used to lower child support.. Court's rationale - "they are not his children, not his responsibility". Since when did a mother bear no responsibility for their children? Today's women are earning more, and are becoming a majority in our workforce. Stay at home mom of the 50's rarely exists today. I knew of a man who ended up paying so much child support (plus child expenses) he had to move back home with his parents. His wife earned more than he did.

False allegations of child abuse by a vengeful ex-wife devastates not only children, but fathers. Why does a father automatically become a "bad father" when a divorce is filed? Primarily because an ex-wife decides he MUST pay for wanting a divorce. Wife files first to take advantage of all laws passed to protect "true victims" of abuse/violence. Wife charges everything from domestic violence to stalking to child abuse. Courts almost always believe a woman over a man today.

I know of a man who was falsely accused of child sexual abuse. By the time he was found innocent, he lost his job, his reputation, and everything he owned. Recent statistics do show women are becoming our primary child abusers, and yes, even killers of our children. Our Family Courts consistently state, "the mother always makes the best parent".

Some mothers today emotionally blackmail and intimidate their children into fabricating abuse by their father. I know a man who fought two years to get custody of his son from a proven mentally ill mother who abused their son. Each time the court insisted "the mother is the best parent".

A large number of children are FORCED to see a child psychologist when divorce is filed. Counselors/psychologists are encouraged by our system to give bad reports against a father. Fathers are automatically presumed capable of abuse before any mother.

Mothers are intentionally denying visitation to loving, child support paying fathers, who then spend money and time in court trying to get visitation enforced. I know a man who hasn't seen his son in 14 years, but religiously pays his child support. He stopped pursuing visitation in court when the mother threatened harm to the son. Is this fair? Why is there no press on "intentional denial of visitation"??

One of the saddest true stories I know of is a little nine year old boy was put in a mental institution by his mother until he stopped saying, I want to see my daddy. There are too many stories of children committing suicide. I personally know of a woman who kept her teenage son up night after night crying about her divorce, repeatedly telling him "children ruin marriages". Son turned to drinking, drugs, dropped out of college.

Divorce is reality. It is currently a billion dollar a year business. Contested divorce is Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare whether people want to acknowledge it or not. Everyone wants a fuzzy warm answer to harsh reality. There are none unless we all recognize male gender bias perpetuated in Family Court today, and the undeniable damage it does to our children.

Years ago women had a disadvantage in our domestic courts. Now they can feel quite happy knowing most women win today; can manipulate child support into "backdoor alimony"; deprive their children of their fathers; and ruin their husband. Truth no longer exists in our legal system.

Yes, we have come a long way. Should women be proud of how they use laws fought hard for 30+ years ago to protect us. I am personally grateful for these laws. You blasphemy those women who died for the very laws you are abusing today. Stop abusing them - - for one day our legal pendulum will swing back and our true victims will not be believed again.

You think you're beating men? You're beating yourself; destroying your children; and making our legal system rich. You are creating a generation of children who think love is conditional, possessive; and if lost, violence and manipulating laws will make you a winner.

I will never be associated with any feminist movement/person(s) who advocates false allegations, destroying children, and eliminating good fathers.

Be proud women of the 90's . You have successfully accomplished "Gender

Bias in Family Courts".

Children are our innocent victims of gender bias in our family courts. Not women.

 

Empty Photo Album

by Pearle Harbour

 

 

 

As we debate what has happened to our children and how to fix it, why do we not discuss our families? As we discuss what to do about fathers' rights and children's rights, why do we not discuss memories lost forever in a maze of endless court battles and rewritten history? Why do we not see future tears and sadness of those who will have no photographs to pass down to the next generation?

Photos that were never taken at those birthday parties. Photos never taken at graduations. Photos never taken at weddings, births, and family reunions. When our children one day ask about their family tree, will it be without photographs and names of the non-custodial side of their family. Family members who were callously eliminated from their children's lives by a custodial parent and an uncaring legal system?

Picture this - One day your child says to you "where is our family album. I have to do a family tree for a school project." Or, one day, your child simply asks to see pictures of their relatives. You take out your family album, and your child begins to turn each page. A look of confusion covers their face and their eyes look sad. "Where is my daddy (or mommy)? Where is Grandpa and Grandma Jones? I see Grandpa and Grandma Smith, but where are the pictures of the rest of my family? Do I look like my daddy (or mommy)?" your child questions. What do you answer to a child who waits for an honest answer from a parent they trust and love?

When I open my family album, I can revisit my past. I can see where I came from, and there is no doubt who I look like. I can look at my father and remember a strong, hard working, loving father. A father who taught me values, morals, and to fight for what I believed in even if people throw stones. I can't imagine not having pictures of my father in my family album. Some day I will lose my best friend, my father. To never be able to see his face again, if only in a picture, would be tragic.

In my family album, I can see the mother who gave birth to me and made sacrifices for me. A mother who knew and understood that her daughter didn't always listen to her advice. I can see a strong person who I'm sure I caused pain from time to time as I grew into an adult. Never once did my mother abandon me when I made mistakes in life. Every day in this harsh world of ours, I thank my mother for teaching me how to be a lady, a woman, and an independent person.

 

We cannot bring back the past, nor re-create special and important events in our children's' lives. Once a graduation has taken place and a father (or mother) wasn't there to have their picture taken with the graduate, we cannot recapture nor conjure up these lost images. How sad they will one day wonder why there are no photographs of the "other" parent or "other" relatives whenever there was a special occasion in their lives.

When I open my family album, I can see very special grandparents I dearly miss today. Grandparents who loved me for myself and expected nothing in return but love. They were there when I needed support, another shoulder to cry on, or another perspective on life. My grandparents passed on to me in story and pictures my family history and family legacy. They enabled me to keep my family history alive in my heart, in my memory, and in pictures.

Who could forget my great-grandfather and our trips to the old soda shop in town. While I sipped on my soda, I watched other grandfathers playing checkers and talking about the good ole days. So many memories time cannot erase. My great-grandfather told me all about my great-grandmother whom I never got to meet. Whenever he talked of her and touched her photograph, his face would light up and his eyes would tear up as he spoke her name even twenty years after her death.

Too many children are left with empty photo albums before they were given a choice. Before they were given a chance to know the other parent and other relatives. No one asked these children if one day they would like to see photographs of their "other" parent and "other" family. No one thought these children would care.

When I open my family album, Auntie Lou is there in her too bright clothes and big smile. Auntie Lou was such an individualist. I always admired her free spirit and guts to be herself. Then there is Uncle Joe who was a little short and fat, but he could cook better than most women. Together they were the talk of the town and sometimes, it was rather cruel gossip. They lived life to the fullest with an undying love for each other. No matter small minded people, Auntie Lou would say. As long as you know the truth, that's all that matters.

Our family, BOTH sides, shape who we are and fill our lives with valuable memories. We steal from these children irretrievable moments they could have enjoyed in their lives.

In my family album, Uncle Frank, is always throwing horseshoes. We all thought he'd quit one day. Uncle Frank wasn't very good, but we didn't tell him that - he enjoyed the game too much. Uncle Frank loved children and he loved horseshoes. Oh, and he loved his wife, my Aunt Laurie. She always told him with a big smile and lots of love in her eyes "it was the wind honey. Keep practicing." I always thought it was sad they could never have any children of their own. How lucky their foster children were and what memories captured in photographs they made together.

 

When I open my family album, tears fill my eyes when I touch a picture of my brother, John, my best friend, who died too young. John taught me true sibling love. Without his short time on earth, I may never have known how wonderful it was to have a brother who didn't see my faults - only his big sister. When I touch his photo, I know John still watches over his big sister from Heaven.

Sadness fills my heart for those children who will never know their "other" grandparents and "other" relatives because death took them away before they could know the truth. Before a child could decide what their best interests were for themselves.

My family album has lots of good memories and memories which bring tears to my eyes. But, they are my times and my memories forever frozen in photographs. Photographs I can take out and look at whenever I chose. If my memories become faded or foggy with time and age, I can open up my family album and smile again while I remember. I can be sad at the loss of family members because they meant so much to me. I can touch their photos and thank God they were in my life because they are a part of who I am today. Any sadness turns to a loving memory of what I had in my life. Memories no one can take from me. Memories I can pass onto my own children. I wouldn't have missed it for the world!!

Do you want to be the one who has to explain why there are no pictures of the "other" parent? Do you want to explain why there are no pictures of "other relatives"? Who has the right to steal any child's heritage and family album from them? What of all those special moments? Precious memories never captured on film with the "other" parent and "other" relatives. Never mind. You have those precious memories of you and your side of the family with your children. It can't be that important to a child, can it? What do they know. They are only children.

All I see and read in our media anymore is how the custodial parent, predominantly mothers, feel the pain when on those rare occasions they lose custody of their children. Perhaps if more mothers felt the pain an empty photo album causes their children, they would understand what they are doing to their own children. Was it fair to take their memories away from them? Oh, I forgot - you did what was best for your children.

Selfish and controlling come to mind. Not love nor best interests of our children, when I think of all these innocent children who will never see if they looked like their daddy (or mommy). Nor will they ever know the memories of those of us who have a family album. How will these children retrace their family history one day?

Do judges, lawyers, counselors, or anyone in our legal system, understand what their decisions are doing to our children and non-custodial parents? Do they all have a family album? Can they fathom future memories they are stealing from our children and non-custodial parents?

 

Those who are deciding the best interests of our children have forgotten and do not care whether there will be photos for our children. They don't even care whether these children will have unanswered questions they take to their graves themselves one day.

Do we really understand the consequences and repercussions of things we do today in the name of the best interests of our children? How many empty photo albums will there be in the 21st century?

 

Pearle Harbour

wewinluv@leading.net

Author of Guerilla "Divorce" Warfare

Gender Bias In Our Family Court System

www.freeyellow.com/members2/heller2

 

President, R.E.A.L. Parents USA

©Copyright 8/26/99

Not to be reprinted without permission of author

 

AND A CHILD SHALL LEAD THEM


Pearle Harbour would like to wish everyone the happiest of holiday seasons.
During this period of holiday celebrations and approaching new millennium,
everyone has lots to be thankful for, and many wishes for the new year.
One wish would be for everyone in this country to be truly happy with their
relationships with their families..  Sadly, too many have no family to
gather around them during the holiday season.
Our servicemen/women who valiantly protect our country will be alone at
holiday time.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if for just one holiday season they could all
return to celebrate family, joy, happiness, and traditions in familiar
surroundings back home in our United States?
These are wishes we can only hope and pray will one day come true.
Our FORGOTTEN AMERICANS also include also non-custodial parents and
grandparents who will not enjoy the smiles and laughter of their
children/grandchildren during the holiday season.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if for just one holiday season all the adults in
this country could grow up and stop being selfish, vindictive, and show
unconditional love to their children?
This too is a wish we can only hope and pray for under our current legal
system of unequal justice. 
Combined with our current society built on the "ME" theory of total
self-absorption, greed, no religion, and total lack of real concern for our
lost children, we are destined to forever lose our traditions at holiday
season.
For my column this month, I will leave you with a true story told to me by
a friend.
Perhaps some of you will take it to heart and read its real meaning.  Too
often today we only view things for their entertainment value and not their
messages.  Messages which must be heeded to save our children, families, and
our great country.
My friend is divorced with a small child age 3.  Children are so much fun
at holiday times.  Their world is filled with wonderment and excitement from
Thanksgiving to Christmas.  Anticipation builds in their hearts and minds
waiting for Christmas Day.  If they are lucky children, they will know what
the holiday really means and why it is suppose to be celebrated.
Not just for the gifts and money of a never-ending materialistic ME society.
I'll call the little girl Jessica to protect her identity.  My friend will
be named Mary.
Jessica loved Christmas.  There were so many activities going on in school,
in church and with her family. 
Jessica loved to decorate at Christmas and couldn't wait for Santa to come
like any other normal child.  She spent many agonizing days trying to decide
on the perfect gift for everyone on her list because "I want them to be
happy because I love them."
Jessica had dragged her mother to store after store until each gift was
carefully selected with love. Together they spent nights spent wrapping each
one especially for the person for whom it was purchased.  "I'm sure Aunt
Martha will love this scarf.  She told me she needed a new one to keep her
warm."  Nothing was too extravagant and some gifts were handmade.
Next came the decorating of their home.  "Mommy," Jessica would asked with
concern in her voice.  "Do you think we have enough lights?"
"Yes," Mary would smile and yawn.  "It will be perfect when we are
finished.  You always do a great job."
Each evening, Mary would kiss Jessica goodnight.  "Mommy, why are you smiling?"
"Because I love you so much sweetheart."
"I like Christmas best of all."
"I know.  Now you must get some sleep.  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and we
have so much to do and so many people to see."
"I know mommy," Jessica's kissed her mother.  "So much to do and so many
people to see."
Mary tucked Jessica in as her tiny daughter dropped off to sleep and
dreamed of Christmas.
Yes, the days were long and the hours stretched long into the night as Mary
prepared for the holidays.  There was Christmas services to attend and
family to see.  Her schedule was full and she hoped the weather was good so
her and Jessica could see everyone on their list.
Mary was exhausted by the time Christmas Eve arrived.   As always, Jessica
woke up very early and tugged at her mother who thought silently to herself
just a few more minutes.  But, Jessica would not be denied.
Mary and Jessica filled the car with presents they had bought and cookies
they had made together.  First the church services, and then the family parties.
Jessica's energy never wavered as they traveled first to see grandparents.
There were lots of cousins, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles everywhere
they went. 
As Jessica handed out each present, she smiled at their reaction.  Her
heart was filled with love and happiness.  There were lots of presents for
Jessica too.  Not once did she say an unkind word to anyone who gave her a
present though she may not have liked each one.  Jessica knew they had put
as much love into their presents to her as she did.  For Jessica, it was
okay if they didn't get it exactly right.
By nighttime, Mary was exhausted and Jessica was still too excited to
sleep.  There was one last important stop they had to make before Santa
arrived at Jessica's house.  "Are you sure Daddy will be there?  It's kind
of late mommy."
"Daddy will be there.  Don't worry," Mary reassured her little girl.
As they pulled into his driveway, Jessica screamed, "you're right mommy.
Daddy is here.  He didn't forget."
Mary waited in the car as Jessica delivered her present to her Daddy.  It
was difficult for Mary to forget the bad times and their terrible divorce.
It was better this way for Jessica.  Mary knew in her heart it would get
better between the two of them over time.  Mary hoped one day they could be
civil to each other.
Besides, Jessica had been a special gift from their marriage, and her
happiness was the most important thing to Mary.  "The rest will work itself
out if we try for Jessica's sake," Mary whispered to herself alone in the car.
Sometimes it was tough to forget her problems with her ex-husband.  Mary
knew she was doing the right thing every time Jessica came running out of
her daddy's house smiling and laughing, and chatting all the way home about
her visit with her daddy.  For Mary, Jessica's happiness was more important
to her than her anger over their divorce.
Mary yawned and smiled to herself as she thought about how much energy one
little girl could have and how tired an adult she was tonite.  Everything
was worth it to Mary to see her daughter so happy and loved by so many
relatives.
"Mommy," Jessica yelled as she ran to the car with Daddy in tow.  "Daddy
said he wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas."
Mary and John exchanged pleasantries for Jessica's sake and even managed to
smile at the exuberance of their daughter.  Yes, Mary thought to herself.
We can do this for Jessica.
John kissed his daughter goodnight.  "See you tomorrow Daddy.  Remember to
leave out my cookies and your milk for Santa.  I love you Daddy."
"I won't forget my little angel," John waved goodbye.  "I love you too
Jessica."
Jessica chattered all the way home.  "Oh look mommy, aren't our lights pretty?"
"Yes sweetie.  Now you need to get to sleep," her mother told her.  "Or
Santa won't come.  And yes, he will like the cookies you made for him."
On Christmas day by noon, Jessica was with her father.  Jessica another
whirlwind day of visiting grandparents and other relatives.  John too was
able to see his daughter smile and laugh as they traveled to each relative's
home.  For John, Jessica's happiness was more important than anything else
in the world to him.  These visits were never long enough, but John was
grateful Mary gave him so much time with his daughter.  Their divorce had
been bitter.  Jessica was his only shining light throughout all the court
battles.  John hoped one day all their bitterness would be gone for
Jessica's sake.  His time with her was precious, and he never wasted a
moment with Jessica.
It was very late when John knocked on Mary's door with a sleeping Jessica
in his arms.
"I think she'll sleep til noon," John spoke as Mary opened the door.
"Why don't you put her in her bed," Mary told him. 
Together they tucked Jessica into bed and stood for a moment to watch her
sleep.
They didn't speak because words weren't necessary. 
John left and Mary shut the door.  Both wished it could have been
different, but sometimes divorce happens.  Watching Jessica grow up loved
and happy by two parents and their families would heal both their painful
pasts.  Together they would share in their daughter's life, happiness,
dreams, and future.
Jessica slept in the day after Christmas.  Jessica didn't wake her mother
because "she needs her sleep."
When Mary awoke, she came out to see Jessica going through her presents. 
"Mommy, I'm a very lucky little girl," Jessica looked very serious.
"Because of all the presents you received on Christmas?" Mary questioned.
"Oh no, mommy.  I'm a very lucky little girl because so many people love
me.  I got to see daddy and all my grandparents on Christmas. That's better
than any presents I could ever get."
And a CHILD shall lead them..............
Our families are in trouble and our children are lost.  I may not be the
most religious person, but I do believe in God, good and evil, family,
children, and our great country.
For this holiday season, I will end my column and story simply with.....
***This is the season to remember that child who was born 2000 years ago
and loves you still today.****

May you have the happiest of holidays and your wishes come true in the new
millennium.

Pearle Harbour
©copyright 11/28/99                    
Not to be reprinted without permission of author.





 

 

 

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