to Stories Page
IS NOT JUST A WOMAN'S THING!
VIOLENCE IS A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR THAT ONE FAMILY MEMBER OR SPOUSE EXERTS
OVER ANOTHER AS A MEANS OF CONTROL.
MAY INCLUDE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, COERCION, THREATS, INTIMIDATION, ISOLATION,
AND EMOTIONAL, SEXUAL OR ECONOMIC ABUSE."
Everyone is aware
of the physical abuse but few ever consider the mental abuse side of
domestic violence. While we all hear of the numbers of physical abuse
committed on women no one wants to bring up the mental abuse. IT IS NOT
JUST A WOMAN THING. 5%of men are also victims of physical abuse.
But while the
numbers on physical violence are recorded very few ever consider the
mental abuse and how or what it does to the victims. While men are guilty
of committing most of physical abuse it is the women by the large part
that are committing the mental abuse. Whether anyone wants to admit it the
mental abuse is just as damaging if not more so than the physical side of
the horrible crime.
our concerns are not with the adults, they have a choice. There is much
support directed to help women involved in these relationships. Very
little if any for the children.
We have to protect
the children. Children are the silent victims of domestic violence.
Anytime there is domestic violence involved whether it is directed toward
them or not they surfer.
Each time a child
is use by one parent against another parent it is domestic violence.
COERCION, THREATS, INTIMIDATION, ISOLATION, AND EMOTIONAL. Each time a
child is witness to any type of abuse it changes their brain waves.
It changes the way
they think, learn, solve problems, and how they relate to other people.
NOT FOR A SHORT TIME, BUT FOR ALWAYS... It changes the person they may
become. This is not just a theory. It is fact and it is past time for all
people involved in the PROTECTION and care of children to address these
In all of our
state laws the "Best interest of the child" is used in order
that the states may look as if they are in compliance with the US Supreme
ruling. However, it is clear that the state Legislators, courts and judges
have used this term only as a lip service with no intent to adhering to or
addressing the problem. If the states wish to be in compliance with the
Adoption Safe Family Child Act of 1997 and continue to receive federal
funding for support of the child services of the state, this is one area
they will have no choice but to address.
Now is the time
for all of us that are interested in the welfare of children to step up
and force the states to adopt new legislation to help solve this problem.
Every state will
be rewriting their domestic relations laws within the near future.
Each one must do
so to be eligible for the federal money they all want so badly.
Now is the time to
get in there and have a say in what and how it is changed. If you don't
like the present laws it is up to you to help change them.
While they are
changing laws please help get a written definition of the "Best
Interest OF the child." Every state must use this statement in all
laws relating to children. But the definition changes with each judge, in
each courtroom in every state.
We have researched
this statement using the US Supreme Courts ruling and came up with the
following definition. If all of the states adopt this definition there
will no more of trying to second guess what the discretion of the court
'THE BEST INTEREST
OF THE CHILD IS MEETING HIS/HER PHYSICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, MEDICAL, PRIMARY
EDUCATION AND SPIRITUAL NEEDS.. PROVIDING EMOTIONAL STABILITY, PROTECTING
HIS/HER LEGAL RIGHTS AS WELL AS ASSURING SAFE HOUSING, FOOD, AND CLOTHING
TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY. SO THAT THE CHILD WILL ACHIEVE TO THE BEST OF
These are the
considerations in cases of separation and divorce of parents. IT IS NOT
THE INTEREST IN THE CHILD, BUT OF THE CHILD SYLLABUS BY THE COURT:
(a) The love,
affection, and other emotional ties existing between the parties involved
and the child. (b) The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to
give the child love, affection, and Guidance And continuation of the
educating and raising of the child in its religion or creed, if any.
(c) The capacity
and disposition of the parties involved providing the child with food,
clothing, Medical care or other remedial care recognized and permitted
under the laws of this State in place of Medical care and other material
(d) The length of
time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory environment, and the
desirability of Maintaining continuity. (
e) The permanence
as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial home or homes.
(f) The moral
fitness of the parties involved.
(g) The mental and
physical health of the parties involved.
(h) The home,
school, and community record of the child.
(i) The reasonable
preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of sufficient
age to express preference.
willingness and ability of each of the parents to facilitate and encourage
a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the child and the
violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed against, or
witnessed by the child. This is a clear definition and leaves little to
the discretion to the court. It creates constancy and a standard for each
Thanks to Lola
Rights for WV Organization
(This material is
copyrighted and permission must be granted by author for reprint -
Please email Lola
for more information or visit their website.