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GRANDPARENTS
Below
is an article written by Lola - a Grandmother from West Virginia - take
time to read this article!!
Learn
what GRANDPARENTS all across this country are doing to further the BEST INTERESTS OF OUR CHILDREN
which includes their definition of BEST INTERESTS OF OUR CHILDREN
to be submitted to legislators.
R.E.A.L.
Women USA supports efforts by Grandparents Rights for WV Organization to
bring about change in our Family Court System to SAVE OUR CHILDREN.
GRANDPARENTS
are important people in our children's lives.
Without
GRANDPARENTS in our children's lives, our children lose much from their
love and support. Grandparents can teach our children so much from their
wisdom and their life experiences.
Give
our children back their extended families. Give our children back their
family support system. For centuries, GRANDPARENTS have been there for
their grandchildren and for us, their children.
Our
Children need all of us fighting for their BEST INTERESTS.
GRANDPARENTS suffer
from the loss of their grandchildren. Separated from their
grandchildren, with no legal rights to visit, they too suffer pain and
lost. In turn, our CHILDREN lose the love and support of their
grandparents.
How
many of you out there knew, loved, and spent precious time with your
GRANDPARENTS. Why do we deny them the right to see their grandchildren?
Why do we deny our children a loving, supporting, nurturing relationship
with their grandparents?
JOIN IN THEIR FIGHT -
UNITE WITH R.E.A.L. Women USA and GRANDPARENTS. ORG
SAVE OUR CHILDREN
- FIGHT THE FIGHT THAT NEEDS FIGHTING
Pearle
Harbour
R.E.A.L.
Women USA
DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE IS NOT JUST A WOMAN'S THING!
"DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE IS A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR THAT ONE FAMILY MEMBER OR SPOUSE
EXERTS OVER ANOTHER AS A MEANS OF CONTROL.
DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE MAY INCLUDE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, COERCION, THREATS, INTIMIDATION,
ISOLATION, AND EMOTIONAL, SEXUAL OR ECONOMIC ABUSE."
Everyone
is aware of the physical abuse but few ever consider the mental abuse
side of domestic violence. While we all hear of the numbers of physical
abuse committed on women no one wants to bring up the mental abuse. IT
IS NOT JUST A WOMAN THING. 5%of men are also victims of physical abuse.
But
while the numbers on physical violence are recorded very few ever
consider the mental abuse and how or what it does to the victims. While
men are guilty of committing most of physical abuse it is the women by
the large part that are committing the mental abuse. Whether anyone
wants to admit it the mental abuse is just as damaging if not more so
than the physical side of the horrible crime.
As
grandparents our concerns are not with the adults, they have a choice.
There is much support directed to help women involved in these
relationships. Very little if any for the children.
We
have to protect the children. Children are the silent victims of
domestic violence. Anytime there is domestic violence involved whether
it is directed toward them or not they surfer.
Each
time a child is use by one parent against another parent it is domestic
violence. COERCION, THREATS, INTIMIDATION, ISOLATION, AND EMOTIONAL.
Each time a child is witness to any type of abuse it changes their brain
waves.
It
changes the way they think, learn, solve problems, and how they relate
to other people. NOT FOR A SHORT TIME, BUT FOR ALWAYS... It changes the
person they may become. This is not just a theory. It is fact and it is
past time for all people involved in the PROTECTION and care of children
to address these issues.
In
all of our state laws the "Best interest of the child" is used
in order that the states may look as if they are in compliance with the
US Supreme ruling. However, it is clear that the state Legislators,
courts and judges have used this term only as a lip service with no
intent to adhering to or addressing the problem. If the states wish to
be in compliance with the Adoption Safe Family Child Act of 1997 and
continue to receive federal funding for support of the child services of
the state, this is one area they will have no choice but to address.
Now
is the time for all of us that are interested in the welfare of children
to step up and force the states to adopt new legislation to help solve
this problem.
Every
state will be rewriting their domestic relations laws within the near
future.
Each
one must do so to be eligible for the federal money they all want so
badly.
Now
is the time to get in there and have a say in what and how it is
changed. If you don't like the present laws it is up to you to help
change them.
While
they are changing laws please help get a written definition of the
"Best Interest OF the child." Every state must use this
statement in all laws relating to children. But the definition changes
with each judge, in each courtroom in every state.
We
have researched this statement using the US Supreme Courts ruling and
came up with the following definition. If all of the states adopt this
definition there will no more of trying to second guess what the
discretion of the court will be.
'THE
BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD IS MEETING HIS/HER PHYSICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL,
MEDICAL, PRIMARY EDUCATION AND SPIRITUAL NEEDS.. PROVIDING EMOTIONAL
STABILITY, PROTECTING HIS/HER LEGAL RIGHTS AS WELL AS ASSURING SAFE
HOUSING, FOOD, AND CLOTHING TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY. SO THAT THE
CHILD WILL ACHIEVE TO THE BEST OF THEIRS."
These
are the considerations in cases of separation and divorce of parents. IT
IS NOT THE INTEREST IN THE CHILD, BUT OF THE CHILD SYLLABUS BY THE
COURT:
(a)
The love, affection, and other emotional ties existing between the
parties involved and the child.
(b) The capacity and disposition of the parties involved to give
the child love, affection, and Guidance And continuation of the
educating and raising of the child in its religion or creed, if any.
(c)
The capacity and disposition of the parties involved providing the child
with food, clothing, Medical care or other remedial care recognized and
permitted under the laws of this State in place of Medical care and
other material needs.
(d)
The length of time the child has lived in a stable, satisfactory
environment, and the desirability of Maintaining continuity.
e)
The permanence as a family unit, of the existing or proposed custodial
home or homes.
(f)
The moral fitness of the parties involved.
(g)
The mental and physical health of the parties involved.
(h)
The home, school, and community record of the child.
(i)
The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to
be of sufficient age to express preference.
(j)
The willingness and ability of each of the parents to facilitate and
encourage a close and continuing parent-child relationship between the
child and the other parent.
(k)
Domestic violence, regardless of whether the violence was directed
against, or witnessed by the child. This is a clear definition and
leaves little to the discretion to the court. It creates constancy and a
standard for each court.
Thanks
to Lola
Grandparents
Rights for WV Organization
(This
material is copyrighted and permission must be granted by author for
reprint - copyrighted 4/99)
Please
email Lola for more information or visit their website.
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